


Mama's Partner

by scurvaliciousbay



Series: Inquisitor!Kass and Companion!Mel [21]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Child's Thoughts, Other, Thoughts on a step parent, only moderately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 11:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scurvaliciousbay/pseuds/scurvaliciousbay
Summary: Kass is off on a mission, leaving her daughter, Ash, at Skyhold with Melarue.





	Mama's Partner

**Author's Note:**

> Melarue belongs to circadian_rythm

“Why do you have to go? You’re gone all the time,” Ash asks as Mama pulls on her boots. She’s leaving again, and she only just got here. But now she says she has to go away because there are soldiers who need her help and that’s important. 

Does that mean Ash isn’t important anymore? 

“There are soldiers who are in danger and -

“You’re never here anymore,” she says, flopping down on her cot. The bed creaks under her weight and whines. 

Mama sighs and places a hand on her back, “Ash, I know it’s hard, but we’re going to get through this. There are many people here to watch over you -

“I don’t want them! I want you! I hate it here! You’re never here and the Green Thing is scary and I have nightmares and I hate it! I hate it!” She shouts. Haven is cold and there’s snow everywhere and the hole in the sky makes her skin crawl and there are men in armor here who look at as if she’s a monster. She knows the look, it’s the look the men by the Chantry used to give her. But now it’s everyone. 

Mama’s arms come around Ash and pull her to her chest, “I know, I know. I don’t like it here either.”

“Then why don’t we go?!”

“Because….because sometimes we have to do things we don’t like. I have a responsibility to stay and if you go…I wouldn’t see you at all.” 

Ash holds onto her even tighter. This isn’t right, Mama shouldn’t have to leave and Ash shouldn’t have to stay here in this stupid place with its stupid people. 

“I don’t like it,” she sniffles. Mama’s hand comes up and holds the back of her head, turning her face into her hair. 

“I miss you. Every time I go, I miss you and I count the moments until I can see you again. I love you,” she says and her voice sounds all thick and shaky, like how Ash’s sounds when she’s really upset. Mama said once that parents and children share a lot of things in common, maybe this is another thing. She holds Mama close.

“I love you too,” she whispers back. 

Mama holds her for a little longer and then there’s a knock on the door and Cassandra’s there, saying that they need to go now. Mama kisses Ash’s forehead and rises. She leaves with Cassandra and Ash sniffles again. 

The house is quiet and she hates the quiet, it makes her think of the nightmares and the big hole in the sky. Her magic feels weird,  _she_  feels weird. She pulls on a second coat and stomps outside, heading down to the frozen lake to the play with the little family of nugs that live there. They’ve gotten used to her by now, so they let her pet them. Sometimes she lets her magic make her a little warmer than normal and the nugs curl up by her legs. It’s nice and something to do that doesn’t feel like just…lying around and waiting and crying.

But to get to the lake, she has to walk past the people training and the Templars. They all say they’re  _former_  Templars and she guesses that’s true, but there’s one, she doesn’t know his name, but he’s big and he looks at her weird. 

Today is no different. He’s there and as she walks by she feels his eyes on her horns, on her hands, and it all suddenly feels too much.

Ashokara whips around, eyes blazing, “What are you looking at!” 

The man blinks, seemingly shocked, “What are you -

“I’m not stupid! You look at me all the time! Stop it!” She shouts, gnashing her teeth as smoke puffs out of her nose. 

The man blinks then nods, “I watch you because it’s in my training, I used to be a Templar and -

“Well you’re not one now! So stop looking at me! I’m not a monster! You’re…you’re a shithead!” She shouts one final insult then takes off down to the lake. He looked so surprised that she knew, so surprised that she’d shout back. Those circle mages never shouted back, she guesses, they all let him look at them like they’re monsters because if they didn’t…bad things happened. 

But Ash isn’t a Circle mage and she hates it when people look at her like that. It’s either her horns or her magic, sometimes both. 

She falls into the snow, sniffling. The nugs are there, all pig and wriggly. She sticks her legs out and they swarm over them, making her giggle and heat up her legs with some magic. One of them squeaks happily and another coos. 

The snow shifts behind her and someone quickly takes a seat next to her. She looks over to see Melarue, from Val Rayoux. They’re tall and very pretty with the prettiest eyes Ash has ever seen. Mama seems to like them a lot and they sneaked a honey bun to Ash a few days ago. 

“That was quite the scene back there,” they say. Ash pales and squirms.

“I don’t like him staring at me is all,” she stares down at her lap. Great, now she’s in trouble and they’re going to make her apologize. She hates apologizing.

“He shouldn’t have been staring at you, you did well to stand up for yourself, even it was a bit colorful.”

Ash blinks up at them and blushes, “You’re not gonna tell Mama I said that are you?” They chuckle and shake their head.

“No. She has enough to worry about.”

Ash looks back at the nugs. Her heart hurts when she thinks about Mama, even with the wiggly nugs. 

“Is there anything you want to talk about, Ashokara?” Melarue asks softly. Ash shrugs but sniffles and nods. 

“I miss my Mama and I want to go home,” she murmurs. Her eyes sting and her vision begins to blur. 

“There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. You’re from northern Orlais? Montfort?” They ask, wrapping an arm around her. Ash nods and turns towards them, her legs curling up beneath her. The nugs squeak in surprise, scattering into their little burrows. 

“It was warm there. A-and Mama wasn’t ever gone this much and if she was there was the kith and Shokrakar and, and Katoh and Kaariss,” she cries as Melarue draws her into their embrace. Her body shakes as she cries, asking for Mama to come back. Melarue doesn’t say anything as they hold her, only rubbing her back in comfort. 

“I don’t like iiiiit,” she cries.

“That’s alright,” they say and she cries harder. Everyone keeps telling her to be strong, to get through it, well she doesn’t  _want_  to get through it, she wants it to  _stop altogether_. She wants her Mama and the Valo-Kas and she misses Kaariss’s poems and Shokrakar’s jokes and Katoh’s special spicy food. Haven doesn’t have spicy food or good jokes like Shokrakar’s and the kids her age thinks she’s a grown-up and everyone keeps saying to stop crying.

But Melarue doesn’t say that. They just…hold her, kinda like Mama but different. She clings to them, pressing her face into their chest, probably ruining their coat with her tears. But their grip is tight and they don’t let go. 

And she really doesn’t want them to anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
